Mark Twain quotes

The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.